Basketball

Last fall JJ played soccer with the YMCA league. This summer he  played basketball.  Just as the 4 year old soccer was, these games are quite entertaining.  It's an hour of mass chaos and randomness but it's fun and I enjoy watching my JJ get to do something he loves.  Because we stayed with my parents for a month or so we were only able to go to 4 of the games.

I am so thankful that my Dad got to come to 2 of the games.
JJ spent most of his time at the games running up and down the court like a crazy person but at least he was getting some exercise! There were some times though that he actually played basketball and was focused on the game.
 

Happy Birthday, Dad

Today is my Daddy's 64th birthday and is such a bittersweet day for our family.  It's sweet because we had an amazing day together as a family.  It is bitter...well, for obvious reasons.  We first went to Ft. Sill National Cemetery where he is buried.

Mom and I picked up some flowers to place there.  Even though we are so sad today and not feeling happy, we wanted to have some bright flowers to add some cheerfulness. 

Mom also made cupcakes for everybody.  Dad's absolute favorite was German Chocolate Cake and it's what he had every year for his birthday. We couldn't very well bring a cake out there so Mom just made German Chocolate Cupcakes.  After choking our way through singing Happy Birthday we ate the cupcakes in honor of Dad.  SO hard to do.  It just felt so wrong.  I guess nothing about this will every feel right, though.


We spent a few more minutes there, hating to leave but not really having a reason to stay, before heading out to Medicine Park for some lunch. Mom and Dad have been there several times and JJ and I have gone with them 2 times so we decided it was the perfect place to continue our celebration of Dad. After eating lunch we headed down to the river to feed the ducks our leftover bread.

From there we went to the bridge to take memory pictures. Both times that JJ and I went with my parents to Medicine Park we always took a picture of Dad and JJ on the bridge.  Such precious memories but such heartache now, too.

Here are the 2 pictures we took before:
 
Walking around outside in 100+ degree weather is a great excuse to get some ice cream.  Besides, ice cream was also one of Dad's favorite things and since this day is all about Dad, we had to oblige!  ;)

After cooling off a bit and wandering around a couple of tiny shops we got back in our cars and headed to Mt. Scott. The view is beautiful from up there and it was also another place Dad liked to go. 

I love this photo but at the same time it breaks my heart. My Dad belongs right there next to Mom.  He just does.  It's so wrong and so painful and is a horrible reminder of what the rest of our time here on earth will look like.  

All in all we had a good day together and it was exactly what Dad would have wanted.  He would have absolutely loved spending his birthday making great memories with his family.  But instead of being completely happy a heavy sadness overshadowed the day.  It was wonderful and fun and we really did have a great time together but there was always something missing.  I guess from now on there will always be something missing.  This is a birthday that we all will never forget.

The first time we went with Mom and Dad JJ was only 7 months old so Dad carried him basically the whole day.  After hiking for a bit we stopped to rest and I captured this precious picture of Dad holding his grandson while he sat.  Words cannot express how much I treasure and adore this photo.

23 Weeks

Baby's size? Baby is the size of a grapefruit, measures 11 inches head to toe and weighs just over a pound.
Weight Gain? My last appointment showed that I've finally gained some weight. 4 ounces.
Maternity clothes? Oh, yes. I've been out of my regular clothes for quite some time although I've been able to wear quite a few of my regular dresses.
Stretch marks? Not yet. I never got any when I was pregnant with JJ and I'm hoping I don't this time, either!  
Belly Button in or out? Still in.  
Sleeping? Sleeping is still pretty easy right now.
Foods I am loving? I haven't had any crazy cravings but I have wanted sweets a little more lately.  Soda is (unfortunately) sounding better to me daily.  I'm trying to limit myself though and not have it every day.
Foods I'm hating? Only thing that makes my stomach churn is Chicken Express.  Yuck!
Movement? I feel movement daily. It's so exciting!  He's quite an active little baby.
Best moment this week? I wouldn't say there was one this week.
Symptoms? My belly is my main symptom. Losing my breath easily is another. Just standing sometimes makes me breathless.  When I eat I fill up quickly but then get hungry quickly so I feel like I'm always looking for something to eat.
Gender? Boy!
What I miss? My Daddy.  Every day.
What I'm looking forward to? Coming up with a name! We have decided that this baby is going to have my Dad's name somewhere in his.  We just haven't figured it out exactly yet.
Milestones? I can't think of anything.
Emotions? The joy of pregnancy has been overshadowed by my grief of losing Dad. I can't help but be incredibly sad all the time. I look forward to being happy again.



 

It Hurts

I said, "God, it hurts."
And God said, "I know."

I said, "God, I cry a lot."
And God said, "That's why I gave you tears."

I said, "God, I get so depressed."
And God said, "That why I gave you sunshine."

I said, "God, I feel alone."
And God said, "That's why I gave you loved ones."

I said, "God, my loved one died."
And God said, "So did mine."

I said, "God, but your loved one lives."
And God said, "So does yours."

I said, "God, it hurts."
And God said, "I know."


 

21 Weeks

I was officially 21 weeks on Monday but since my Dad went to Heaven that day, I never got around to taking a weekly picture (it was the last thing on my mind).  I'm big though.  Trust me.  :)


Baby's size? Baby is the size of a pomegranate, measures 10 1/2 inches head to toe and weighs 12.7 ounces.
Weight Gain? My last appointment showed that I've finally gained some weight. 4 ounces.
Maternity clothes? Oh, yes. I've been out of my regular clothes for quite some time. I live in tank tops right now.
Stretch marks? Nope. I never got any when I was pregnant with JJ and I'm hoping I don't this time, either! Belly Button in or out? In.
Sleeping? Sleeping is still pretty easy for me and I can usually breathe through my nose.
Foods I am loving? Dr. Pepper is (unfortunately) sounding better to me daily.  I'm trying to limit myself though and not have it every day.  I haven't had any real cravings yet.
Foods I'm hating? Only thing that makes my stomach churn is Chicken Express.  Yuck!
Movement? I feel movement daily. It's so exciting!
Best moment this week? I wouldn't say there was one this week.
Symptoms? My belly is my main symptom. Losing my breath easily is another. Just standing sometimes makes me breathless.
Gender? We are having another boy. I was initially disappointed but I know that I will adore this sweet boy and will fall deeply in love with him the minute I hold him in my arms.
What I miss? My Daddy.
What I'm looking forward to? Coming up with a name! We have decided that this baby is going to have my Dad's name somewhere in his.  We just haven't figured it out exactly yet.
Milestones? I'm halfway through!
Emotions? The joy of pregnancy has been overshadowed by my grief of losing Dad. I can't help but be incredibly sad all the time. I look forward to finding happiness again.


 

Thoughts

At 11:56 Monday night, July 16, 2012, my Dad left this earth to meet his heavenly Father.  I want to write more about that later but for now I want to record the thoughts that our family wrote about him to be read at the funeral today.  It's still so hard to believe that he is no longer here.


Mom:
Jack had a heart for veterans, policemen, and firefighters.  When we went out to eat, if there was anyone in uniform in the restaurant he always bought their meal.  Most times not letting them know it was he that bought their meal, just wanting them to know someone appreciated their service.  I'm proud to have had a husband who was so big hearted, giving, and generous.

Leah:
There are so many things about my Dad that I have always loved...his goofy sense of humor, his mustache (he just doesn't look right without one!), and his great love for our family and country.  There are so many more things, but the one thing I have always loved most is my Daddy's hands.  Ever since I was little I would sit and hold his hands and think about what all they showed.  They are worn and scarred, but to me they are beautiful.  In my Daddy's hands I see years of hard work and sacrifice, I see strength and guidance, and I see love and unselfishness.  And I know it was all because of his abundant love for his family.  I will miss my Dad every day.  And I will miss the gentle love of his calloused, scarred hands.

Hannah:
Andrew started bringing me over to his parents' house shortly after we started dating.  Many times after we left I would tell him how much I liked his family.  No matter what my day had been like or what mood I was in, my spirits were up after visiting them.  I always enjoyed seeing their closeness and their humor, especially his dad's sarcasm and the way he showed Andrew affection by teasing him or cracking jokes at his expense.  I can't describe how much it means to me how they accepted me into the family with open arms.  I wish I could have know my father-in-law more than a year, but I'm thankful for the time I knew him and I will miss him for years to come.

 

Andrew:
When I was thinking about what I wanted to write about my Dad, I couldn't decide on one thing.  So many memories come to mind that I can't describe in just one paragraph.  I was looking through his truck, admiring all the tools and gadgets (most of which I have not idea what they are used for) when I came across his business card.  I decided to save it as a keepsake.  I flipped it over and it read: "Ecclesiastes 9:10a, Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might..."  When I read that it put a smile on my face because this verse describes him perfectly.  Everything I know and have seen my father do has been exactly what this verse says.  All he has done for me and our family has just radiated the definition of this verse.  I've always looked up to my Dad and hope to be the same great man that he is.  I know if I succeed, my family will be taken care of and loved more than anything in this world.
I have the right footprints to follow and the biggest shoes to fill.

 

20 Weeks

Baby's size? Baby is the size of a banana and measures 10 inches head to toe and weighs 10.5 ounces.
Weight Gain? At this morning's appointment I've finally gained some weight.  4 ounces.  No idea how I'm doing that but I'll take it!
Maternity clothes? Oh, yes. I've been out of my regular clothes for quite some time. I live in tank tops right now.
Stretch marks? Nope. I never got any when I was pregnant with JJ and I'm hoping I don't this time, either!
Belly Button in or out? In.
Sleeping? Sleeping is still pretty easy for me and I can usually breathe through my nose.
Foods I am loving? No real cravings so far. I have been liking water and fruit more than I usually would. Strangely enough I don't want a Dr. Pepper every day like I did before. It's a good thing though so I'm hoping it lasts throughout the pregnancy. Update: I'm starting to want Dr. Pepper a little more. Not every day but every few days. :(
Foods I'm hating? Still don't do fried chicken. Yuck.
Movement? I feel movement almost daily.  It's so exciting!
Best moment this week? One night this past week I went to bed about 3:00 am after staying up to help Dad.  I was exhausted and so ready to sleep.  As soon as I laid down baby started rolling and moving all over the place.  It continued for about 10 minutes.  Such a nice way to end a very difficult day.  Update: Dad was able to come to the ultrasound with us.  He was so weak and tired but he insisted on coming.  Nothing could stop him from getting in the car and seeing his 2nd grandbaby.  It was the last time he left the house and it was exactly 1 week before he died.  Such a precious memory that I will cherish forever.
Symptoms? My belly is my main symptom. Losing my breath easily is another. Just standing sometimes makes me breathless.
Gender? Today we found out that we are having another boy.  I was initially disappointed but I know that I will adore this sweet boy and will fall deeply in love with him the minute I hold him in my arms.
What I miss? Being happy.
What I'm looking forward to? Coming up with a name!
Milestones? I'm halfway through!
Emotions?  The joy of pregnancy has been overshadowed by what's going on with Dad.  I can't help but be sad all the time.  I look forward to being happy again.