The Not-So-Fun Part Of Motherhood

JJ is almost 1 yr. old now and is still waking up 2-3 times a night. Sometimes more. I wake up each time he does and nurse him back to sleep. So, for almost a year I've gotten up several times a night (no wonder I'm so tired.) I blame it on myself. I never taught him to self-soothe. I always jumped as soon as he started fussing and nursed him to sleep. This can't keep happening so we've started the process of teaching him to put himself back to sleep. And, I must say, it sucks! It is one of the hardest, most heartbreaking things I've had to do. It takes every ounce of strength not to run in his room, pick him up, and cuddle him. As a mother, it is instinct to comfort our babies when they are sad and crying and it breaks our hearts when we are unable to do so. I tried it for the first time the other night. I sat in the living room and cried while JJ sat in his crib and cried. I lasted about 25 mins. before giving in and rushing to his room to sweep him into my arms and rock my sweet boy back to sleep. Hubby and I decided to give it another try tonight. JJ woke up after only two and a half hours of sleep and immediately began to fuss (my usual signal to come to the rescue). Instead, I forced myself to wait. JJ's fussing turned into cries which turned into heart-wrenching, mommy-where-are-you wailing. Jorge and I lay in bed listening and hoping he would fall asleep quickly. 8 minutes later he was out. Thankfully it was only 8 minutes (an extremely long 8 minutes) because I don't think I could have handled much more. He only woke up 1 other time and that was about 6:00 this morning. He was wide awake and ready to play so I put him in his play pen with his toys and I snoozed on the couch. I hope this is the first of many and not the first and last. Maybe I'll start getting a little more sleep now...